"east of the river" - what's in a name

i am quick to say that i live "east of the river" - it's quick and simple, yet descriptive. i could say that i live in southeast, but then most people assume that i live on capitol hill - i don't. i could say that i live in anacostia because that's the only community across the river that most people know, but i don't. so "east of the river" seems to capture it ... and it is the moniker that is used by everything from a community newspaper, to a specialized court in the dc superior court system, and countless community organizations and programs. but today i met a woman who raised an interesting point - that is, is referring to southeast as "east of the river" the first step in distancing ourselves from all that "southeast" conjures - the good, but inevitably, and mostly, the bad (that is why they established the "east of the river community court")? and dare i say - the first step towards gentrification?

i need to think about this some more, but i will say that i'm proud to live in southeast - the southeast across the river that encompasses wards 7 and 8.

cops and robbers? cowboys and indians?

nope - today it was two 10 years olds and a six year old playing drug dealer vs. drug dealer and his "muscle." it took me a while to catch on, but it was pretty clear. it went something like this -

one kid (let's call him "g") was alone and the other kid (let's call him "j") had muscle(let's call him "c"). "j" sent "c" to meet with "g" and make a deal. "g" blew off "c" and that message was brought back to "j." "j" sent "c" back to schedule a face-to-face with "g." "g" agreed to meet with "j." "j" came to the face-to-face alone. "j" said something about disrespecting him and began to argue with "g." the back and forth continued and end when "j" slashed "g" with a knife (really it was a light sabre, but hey it is pretend play, right?) and ran. at that point, "g" pulled out his kelly green and purple glock and fired at the fleeing "j" and "c." "j" made it around the corner, but "c" was hit (he knew this because "g" started yelling "i hit you") and fell to the ground. the end.

disturbing and at the same time interesting.

the fence

it turns out that i'm better at negotiating prices than i am timelines for installation, but the fence is finally in almost two months after we agreed on the price. below are before and after photos of the backyard -

we've been a little concerned that the fence was going to be an issue with the neighbors - that somehow it would be perceived that we were trying to keep people out instead of just trying to improve our property. however, it's been just the opposite. no fewer than 10 people stopped by this afternoon to say how much they like what we're doing with the house, including the fence. a couple people even wondered when we were going to have our first neighborhood party. i guess good fences really do make good neighbors!

the grass is not greener

the enquirer is all over this story. turns out jodie may be something of a sapphic lothario so i'm taking myself out of the running. isn't the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater?"

of course i have spent the better part of the last hour trying to find out more about the other woman and even found a few pictures. it was during the search that i came across this soon-to-be-classic quote left by commenter chandler in lasvegas -

lesbians never divorce, they just rearrange relationships

go on chandler in lasvegas! that's right up there with all of the "u-haul" and "length of first date" jokes! (i'm happy to tell the jokes - just let me know.)

new favorite site

urbandictionary

while searching for the meaning of "mug" - as in "it hurt like a mug" or "he's crazy as a mug!" (turns out it's slang for mother f*cker) - i happened upon urbandictionary.com. it's one of those sites that you didn't know that you needed, but now can't live without. go on, check it out - you know you want to know the meaning of "eructophilia" or "earlybirditude."

enough is enough!

it's time to boycott the lerner family! the BILLIONAIRE owners of - the washington nationals, the washington capitals, successful high-end shopping centers, chelsea piers, and countless hotels, office buildings and residential buildings - have gone too far. they nickle and dimed the district of columbia on the new stadium construction (never mind that a significant number of our residents live below the poverty line and have a difficult time accessing basic services AND our schools are a disaster). at one point, the family even tried to get the district to pay for the team's uniforms!!! (i sort of wish that the city would have lost that battle because it would have been excellent to deliver a batch of the uniforms that one of the high school teams had worn in years past!) but now, now they are arguing that the stadium wasn't completed on time and are asking for $100,000/day in damages. enough is enough!

here's my open letter to the lerner family -

dear lerner family:

gordon gekko had it backwards. the truth is greed is NOT good. greed is, for lack of a better word, greedy. you have prospered beyond what you and future generations of your family will ever be able to use and it's time to give back. i mean REALLY give back. why not take the money that you're spending to pursue this suit and give it to community organizations working with those that live in the shadows of the stadium; those that have been displaced or otherwise adversely affected by your monument to greed. or if that's just too human - take the money and put it into the team. yes, a new fancy stadium is nice, but i think you're seeing that it's a winning team that puts fans in the seats - and in case you haven't noticed - your team sucks!

best wishes

the flipflopfed

go ahead, enforce the dress code! ...

... because today i inked the deal! i'm forever flipflopped! take a look -

let me tell you how this happened. last week, we were at a concert with our friend who had been tatted a few days earlier. (she got the little dipper - you know, the 7 sisters. well, at least that's what it used to be because she got 8 stars! why? it looked better!!) we started talking about how i've always wanted a tattoo, but could never decide on a theme or object. my friend asked what i might get now and without thinking, it came to me - FLIPFLOPS!

and so there you have it - while they may not be on my feet, they'll always be on my right shoulder blade in blazing orange.

the visitor

on friday night i went to see this film. it's a powerful story about the impact one individual can have on another and how life offers one unexpected turn after another. i highly recommend that you run, not walk, to see it. (i'll even facilitate the process - click here to find show times in your area.)

the detention facilities run by the department of homeland security's immigration and customs enforcement (ICE) played a major role in the film. no doubt, you've heard of the most infamous of our detention facilities - abu ghraib and guantanamo bay, but did you know that our government operates these same types of facilities throughout the contiguous 48 states? i didn't. to be sure the purposes are certainly different - abu ghraib and guantanamo house enemy combatants, those that are so dangerous that they threaten our mere existence. and at the ICE facilities? well, there they -

... detain and remove criminal and other deportable aliens ... to deter illegal immigration and protect public safety [by] ... secur[ing] bed space in detention facilities, and monitor[ing] these facilities for compliance with national Detention Standards ...

and wouldn't it be nice if the facilities were actually in compliance with these standards? yeah, not so much. the washington post , the new york times, and the los angeles times have all published stories on the system of detention centers for undocumented immigrants. each series and story paints a different piece of the picture and, read together, that picture nears disturbing completion, but i'm still left wondering - why is this a national priority?

marriage - if for no other reason than it has a better ring to it

commitment ceremony

(sorry for the link, but i haven't yet figured out how to embed videos in this here blog.

and thanks to my friend from the lesbian lake in the midle of nowhere for sending me the video in the first place.)

i do? i don't? at least i get to decided!

this week was an all-around good week for the lesbians! first jodie, then the right to marry, followed by some encouraging words from ahnold, and finally ellen.

as most of you remember, the first "gay marriage shot heard round the world" was fired exactly four years ago today as massachusetts issued the first marriage licenses to same-sex couples. the first license was issued just after midnight in the cambridge city hall. i was privileged enough to experience the history first-hand. it was an amazing spectacle - 1000s upon 1000s of revelers, some committed couples waiting in line, a few wacky protesters from the westborough baptist church (fred phelps' outfit), and just enough members of police riot squad to make sure that things didn't get out of hand. take a look ...

well, i was going to show you lots of pictures from the night that same sex marriage became legal in massachusetts, but shutterfly is holding my pictures hostage! click on the link and you can see them all - may 17, 2004!

the interesting thing is that not much has happened since marriage rights were granted to same sex couples in massachusetts - couples have been married and some divorced (unfortunately, one divorce was of the lead plaintiffs in the massachusetts case that granted marriage rights to same sex couples) - just like heterosexual marriage. in four years, i'm sure that we'll be saying the same thing about same sex marriage in california and hopefully we'll will have added a few more states to the roster.

knock, knock, knock ...

... oh, hello opportunity! what's that you say? jodie foster may be single?!

that's correct - the five glorious words that lesbians the world over have been longing for have been uttered by that venerable and reputable publication, the national enquirer. The enquirer is reporting, based on solid sources, that jodie foster and her partner of 14 years (and co-mother of their children) have split.

give me a moment while i catch my breath because everything i know is about to change. i have decided to leave my stable, mutally fulfilling and all-around fantastic long-term relationship and pursue every lesbian's ultimate dream - forever with jodie foster. (now, i'm not going to lie, this could get a little complicated as my partner has also decided to pursue this dream. but, i'm thinking that i have a distinct advantage because my flight for LA leaves 45 minutes early than her's.)

so the next time you see me, i'm thinking that it will look something like this ...

what to do?

the contest to see who will be the nominee for the democrats is nearing an end - one would think. only oregon and kentucky on may 20 and south dakota and montana on june 3 remain (there might actually be some outlying territories left to vote too, but i'm not sure). the four states represent 134 pledged delegates. obama needs about 150 delegates to win and clinton needs almost double that. it's conceivable that we could make it to the convention without a clear nominee. and i think i'm okay with that, BUT (and you see that it's a big BUT) i'm concerned with the distinctly classist and racist tone that the banter is beginning to take on. a pundit on the nightly news just talked about how the voters in west virginia have a "ph.d. in life." the clinton campaign often talks about how she is the candidate for the white, working class citizen. obama's campaign highlights his appeal to the educated elite. clinton speaks of how, if she should be the nominee, the black voters will fall in line, but that the white voter from a lower socio-economic stratum will not fall in line behind Obama should he be the nominee. Obama ponders how disenfranchised middle americans cling to religion and guns.

this is not good! in my mind, the ONLY thing that matters is that we get a democrat in the white house. while i truly believe that this protracted nominating process is for the best, i don't believe that it should continue if we end up ruining our chances to take back the presidency in november. just saying ...

barbara's surfaced ...

... but what's with the pose? maybe she's been off at a clandestine modeling school? well, at least she's been seen in public and i can rest easy and keep my job.

the power of friendship

recently, i've been reminded about the power friendship --

it transcends time and distance, age, race, socio-economic status, education level, religion, gender, sexual orientation, life's events, and even death.

you don't need too many of them - one, solid friend goes a long way.

it's okay if certain friends play a more prominent role at certain times in your life than other friends - it easy to pick up where you left off when times change.

with that, i'd like to thank those of you that are friends - for all that you do, for everything spoken and unspoken, and for the memories.

hello kettle, it's the pot calling ...

today, in a blatant display of hypocrisy, our ambassador to the united nations, zalmay khalilzad, decided to call out the junta in burma/myanmar for their response to the recent disaster. he said "he was outraged by the slowness of the response" to the disaster by the government of burma/myanmar. are you kidding me! could it be that a representative of this administration would have the audacity to criticize another government for the pace of their response to a natural disaster?! my, what short memories they must have. as i remember, it was only three short years ago that, in the immediate aftermath of one of the worst natural and human rights disasters ever to hit the shores of the united states, our leader and his representatives took no decisive action. instead, the head of FEMA asked if he could go home (but, only after verifying that he looked good on television), and his boss talked about illegal immigration, and HIS boss played the guitar and waxed poetic on the day that the million dollar home of a public official would be rebuilt (while the common folk wallowed in the inhumane conditions of the superdome, mind you).

obviously, it would be best if the junta allowed relief efforts to begin (it has been five days since the cyclone hit), but something tells me that a sanctimonious scolding is not the most effective way to encourage the junta to act.

my ode to cheddar bay

there's a lot going on in the world right now - the mounting death toll in myanmar/burma, clinton/obama at a critical juncture, the narcissistic mf in austria thinks that we should be grateful he didn't kill his daughter (narcissism's funny that way isn't it!), oil's close to $124 a barrel, the olympic torch reached the top of everest - yet today none of those topics is blog worthy. because today i'd like to publicly proclaim my love for -

the cheddar bay biscuit

the cheddar bay biscuit , it's exact ingredients shrouded in secrecy, is a glorious creation only available at the cadillac of fast food restaurants and, as our waiter informed us, the only item on the menu that is actually made from scratch in the restaurant. ah, the cheddar bay biscuit - pounds of cheese, loads of butter, and 9 delectable grams of fat per biscuit! it's a wonder that i'm not insisting on cheddar bay biscuits as my main source of sustenance. in the end there are very valid reasons why it's not - one must eat at this establishment and the rest of the food is over-priced crap and frankly, as a person who grew up where seafood is actually from the sea and lobsters go from ocean to table with no tank in the middle (and are actually lobsters - the ones with two claws and no spinney protrusions - and not langostinos or craw fish), it's embarrassing.

and so, i will continue to salivate over the cheddar bay biscuit from afar and hope that someday soon i will find another friend who will indulge my fancy and go with me (my partner, best friend, and another friend have already drawn the line :( ).

eligible jurors in dc - an empty pool

after getting my second jury summons in just as many years, i'm left to believe that the pool of eligible jurors in the district of columbia must look something like this -

one might think it's a bad thing to get a summons, but i'm SO EXCITED! i LOVED being on jury duty. two years ago i was picked for the grand jury - 6 weeks of service (5 days a week, 8 hours a day). it was like i was transported into law and order, but only better (we had favorite witnesses and prosecutors and even had jury t-shirts!). this summons is only for the one day/one trial. i plan to charm the judge and get myself seated on the trial of the century.

two new sites that waste my time

check out 23/6. you've got to love a website that has the tag line - "some of the news, most of the time."

also, i am bored. they're right - it's the perfect antidote to boredom.

thankfully i'm the flipflop fed and not the flipflop black cat employee

first the white house and now the black cat? who will be the next to ban flipflops? i guess i understand (the black cat, but not the white house), but i have more important things to process - namely, is there really a hyphen between flip and flop? and if there is - why? isn't it a compound word? well, webster can do whatever he wishes, but i am the girl who writes in lower case and generally ignores rules that don't conform to MY style. so, the flipflop fed i remain.

my body responds to the mere mention of surgery

this morning i got up at a quarter past dark o'clock to head out for a minor surgical procedure at the best hospital in dc . i arrived at 5:30 am for my 7:30 appointment and the staff quickly prepped me - id bracelet, allergy bracelet, blood tests, gown, funny brown slipper socks, even funnier blue surgery cap, and the iv. my doctor came in a little before 7:00 and we started talking about what had happened since i last saw her on wednesday when she decided that it was time to take a surgical approach to fix me (that was after i threatened her with bodily harm if she didn't make me better immediately!). i gave her the update and she began to think that my issue no longer existed. so out came the iv and off came the surgery cap, slipper socks, gown, allergy bracelet and id bracelet. she ordered a test and that test showed that i somehow fixed myself?!? i'm really grateful because who wants to undergo unnecessary anesthesia and an unnecessary surgical procedure regardless of how minor, but i'm still left thinking ... huh?

city living - when unsupervised babies tag your neighborhood

the taggers have hit my neighborhood! we are lucky in that they (we believe that it's a band of three) have decided to limit their canvas to the neighborhood mailbox. the one down-side is that the mailbox is right next to my house. how ever will we catch them?! i mean it took police in three jurisdictions years to track down "borf" and make him pay! well, it's easy to catch them when they're 3, 6, and 9 and haven't yet learned that you don't use your real name -

ah, the innocence of babies breaking the law!

racing for lois

most of you know that i waited a long time to become the flipflop fed - two years to be exact. and in that time i had many odd jobs, as well as a year-long, gut-wrenching, soul-stealing, self esteem-ruining stint at a beltway bandit. it was immediately following that pleasant experience that i started as the flipflop fed and met lois taylor. lois was assigned as my supervisor, but she didn't know i was coming! she had been on vacation and returned on my first day. i met her as she was coming in the door. for a moment i thought that i was about to have a repeat of the year passed. but the feeling was fleeting - lois joked and made me feel completely at ease. she was one of a kind - she took me under her wing and gave me time to heal; all-the-while pushing me to do the things that she knew i was capable of.

on saturday, june 7th, i will participate in the national race for the cure in memory of my supervisor and friend lois taylor. lois passed away this past december after a valiant and gracious fight against breast cancer. i was truly blessed to have known lois and am forever grateful that she allowed me to be a part of her fight. and so, in her memory, i will continue the fight. please consider fighting with me by making a donation to the susan komen foundation.

you can go to my race for the cure donation page and support my efforts in this fight.

dear mr. president ... mission accomplished?

on this day in 2003, our president declared major operations in iraq complete. with all the tact, discretion and humility we would expect from our leader after launching a pre-emptive war on a developing country based on faulty intelligence , he declared "mission accomplished" after landing a fighter jet on the deck of an aircraft carrier-all broadcast on live tv! now it's five years later and, unable to deny that no mission was accomplished on may 1, 2003 (unless that mission was to destroy a country and make the world more unstable - and i'd like to believe that even this administration is not that callous), he's back-tracking from this statement. it's no longer that the mission in iraq was accomplished; rather it's the specific mission that the men and women serving on that aircraft carrier that was accomplished. spin it however you'd like, mr. president, we're not that dumb.

this got me thinking - what has been "accomplished" in the five years since the end of major combat operations in iraq?
2004: the CIA admits that there were no weapons of mass destruction; car bomb attacks routinely rock baghdad; militants bomb trains in spain killing 190; political corruption plagues the UN oil for food program; genocide continues in darfur; the abuse at abu ghraib is exposed; sovereignty is transferred to the interim iraqi government; war crime hearings begin against saddam hussein; hurricanes charlie, frances, and ivan bring death; peace continues to elude the middle east; osama bin laden is still around; the first democratic election in iraq is delayed; terrorist attacks around the world - russia, indonesia, saudi arabia to name a few; close to 200,00 people die in southeast asia when a massive tsunami hits; the war in afghanistan continues; 849 us soldiers are killed in iraq in the year after the mission was accomplished.
2005: the governor of baghdad is assassinated; no peace in the middle east; george bush is inaugurated for his second term; more bombs in spain; north korea has nukes-maybe; hiv continues to spread rapidly throughout africa; bombings in qatar, egypt, pakistan, london, bali, jordan; the worst us school shooting to date takes place in minnesota; suicide attacks in iraq; katrina and rita strike; oil prices on the rise; elections in afghanistan as the war there continues-almost unnoticed; another 846 us soldiers are killed in iraq.
2006: more of the same - terrorist attacks throughout the world; no peace in the middle east; oil on the rise; iraq's as unstable as ever; iran is enriching uranium; war in afghanistan; saddam hussein is executed; 822 us soldiers killed in iraq.

i wish that i could tell you that things have gotten better in 2007 and 2008, but they haven't-our economy's in a free-fall; the military death tolls don't even account for the astronomical numbers of wounded soliders who will never be the same and the fact that the us government seems less than interested in taking care of them ... and on and on.

of course, it would be naive and just plain wrong to attribute all of the death, destruction, and decline in our world since the mission was accomplished to the failings of our president, but this was a time that we needed a true leader and it's not what we got. just saying ...

if you'll bear with me for just one more moment - after that long rant, i think that pink already said it best. and so i leave you with the lyrics to "dear mr. president" -

Dear Mr. President,Come take a walk with me.

Let's pretend we're just two people

and You're not better than me.I

'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?

Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?

What do you feel when you look in the mirror?

Are you proud?How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?

How do you walk with your head held high?

Can you even look me in the eye And tell me why?

Dear Mr. President,Were you a lonely boy?

Are you a lonely boy?Are you a lonely boy?

How can you say No child is left behind?

We're not dumb and we're not blind.

They're all sitting in your cells

While you pave the road to hell.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?

And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?

I can only imagine what the first lady has to say

You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?

How do you walk with your head held high?

Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Minimum wage with a baby on the way

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Building a bed out of a cardboard box

Let me tell you 'bout hard work

Hard work Hard work

You don't know nothing 'bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

Oh How do you sleep at night?

How do you walk with your head held high?

Dear Mr. President,You'd never take a walk with me. Would you?