"oh, I don't know... i could go up to the pickle factory. they always need a brine tester."

there are many things about this city that annoy me to no end – no vote, abysmal public schools, dcra just to mention a few – but the united states capitol police (uscp) has to be what irks me the most. in my opinion, the force is an incompetent, expensive joke – about a $280 million joke.

the mission states that the uscp will protect and support the congress in meeting its constitutional responsibilities, but recent history shows that they can’t even do that all that well. a year or so ago, the uscp not only failed to stop a delusional man from driving his car through a barricade, but also failed to stop that man from running armed with a gun, coke and semi-clothed through the capitol. the man was eventually apprehended – in the basement of the capitol by employees of the flag office!

currently, one of their primary responsibilities is ensuring that no trucks or busses, except for the metro and commuter types, travel on either independence or constitution avenues, the streets that front the house and senate office buildings, respectively. i assume that they do this for many reasons, one being that they don’t want any large vehicle that could be filled with explosives that close to the capitol. however, they don’t stop suvs or cars. oh wait! it wouldn’t matter if they did. you see, last year the uscp arrested a man for carrying a loaded shotgun near the capitol. they searched his truck, but missed the BOMB behind the seat!

now, it’s being reported that the current class of recruits is at least one quarter filled with those who have a criminal record or did not pass the psychological background check. they've been dismissed. looks like these boys and girls will be joining barney fife at the pickle factory ...

from the people that brought you the george bush center for intelligence …

i used to think that the most ironic and just plain funny government entity was the aforementioned george bush center for intelligence, but no more. today i learned that the federal government employs intelligence officers for denial and deception. the position posting outlines many duties and qualifications, among them –

- sign an agreement not to disclose, in any fashion, classified information to unauthorized persons. An agreement is also required to authorize agency pre-publication review of certain material prior to disclosure during and after employment with DIA.
- subject to initial and a periodic counterintelligence-scope polygraph tests.

but, here’s my question – don’t you think that it’s a little disingenuous to require you not disclose classified information and or lie about it when the purpose of your employment is to deny and deceive? just asking …

deputy dog

i'm going to break the "no talking about my job" rule because this is too exciting! i recently applied for a promotion and found out today that i got it! now i am the DEPUTY flipflop fed! that's right, the DEPUTY director of my division. given the definition of deputy, you are now thinking that i am second in command, but the reality is that there are four other people ahead of me. a big title without all of that pesky supervisory responsibility - isn't the federal government great!!

lawn and order

the city paper is at it again - profiling and ranking dc neighborhoods. my little neck of the woods, twining, is included, as always, as an add-on to hillcrest. sure, we're close (and we do have lawns), but our little enclave is at the BOTTOM of the hill and that says it all.

i've started to read the profiles and, while interesting, should not be taken as gospel and are certainly not an acceptable substitute for experiencing an area first-hand and forming your own opinions.

check out the article and then check out the neighborhoods.

cryptic, i know, but i'll leave it at this

okay – you’d think that I’d have a particularly high tolerance for processes given the fact that I am: (1) a fed; and (2) a lesbian (you know what they say – lesbians excel in the process of processing the process). but, the line has been irrevocably crossed when the process requires a process.

things that keep me from blogging

it’s been a long time! always seems that things like life, a murder trial and spotty internet access get in the way of blogging.

A MURDER TRIAL?

that’s right – the flipflop fed got herself seated on a first-degree premeditated murder trial. (far be it from me to keep you hanging until the end of this post – we found him “not guilty.”) remember that the jury pool in the district of columbia is more like a puddle, so it was inevitable that I would be seated (even though I was released from my six-week stint on the homicide grand jury exactly two years prior to this summons date). i’m not complaining though. as my partner is quick to point out, I actually enjoy serving as a juror and take no steps to be disqualified from service.

this trial had all the makings of a screen play – the victim shot in the head at point-blank range while he slept by a rival drug dealer, an attempted cover-up, a botched police investigation, a murdered witness, and courtroom theatrics. and given the drama, you’d think that this trial would be front page news. it wasn’t even mentioned. surely the crime would have been front page news when it occurred in the summer of 2005, right? nope, just a mention in a couple of papers and on one news channel – and that was only because the body was found in a burning car.

the sad truth is that the story of john malcolm wrenn is ubiquitous in the district of columbia. one of 169 murders in the district in 2005, wrenn, once accused of first degree murder himself, was a known drug dealer from a part of town where known drug dealers are often gunned down. like on like crime - so no harm, no foul?

not so quick. regardless of his chosen occupation, john wrenn was a human being, a son, and a father. the accused walked because of reasonable doubt due to lack of evidence (not because many of us didn't think that he probably did it, but probably doesn't cut it when you're looking at putting someone away for the rest of their natural life). granted, this case wasn't transferred to mpd until at least one year after the crime took place, but you have to wonder if the investigation would have taken a different turn if the victim had been murdered in upper northwest and dumped in montgomery county. the case left the idealistic me disillusioned.

the pragmatic me says that the street will yield its form of justice and there will be another trial brewing right when june 9, 2010 rolls around.

an inconvenient truth - the opera

it was widely reported today that the award winning al gore PowerPoint, an inconvenient truth, will be transformed into an opera. i guess that this is a big deal, but personally, i'm saving my money for the first run of an inconvenient truth - on ice. you know it's going to happen because any movie, cartoon, or event worth its weight eventually ends up at the rink. hell, even broadway's made it on ice. and let's not forget that "on ice" can also be funny and really funny.

i am however just a bit concerned that my dream will never be realized given the effects of climate change. do you think it'll be difficult to skate on melting ice? oh well, i continue to hold out hope and will be the first in line.

eye openers of the weekend

in no particular order -

the district of columbia government, and all city residents for that matter, should immediately demand quality emergency and acute care for residents who live in wards 7 and 8. greater southeast community hospital (or whatever they're calling it now) is a total joke - don't let the website fool you.
the hospital has been repeatedly cited for substandard care. now i know that some of you are wondering why i'm even writing about this - after all, this news is not new. however, last week i received a letter from my insurance company - a reputable 50-stater that serves many feds - informing me that they de-certified greater southeast community hospital and care at the facility would no longer be covered by my insurance. part of me says - GOOD! i'm glad that someone is standing up and saying that the care in this facility does not meet the minimum standards for coverage. the other part of me says - why is it not okay for me - an educated, employee of the federal government - but it is just fine for and continues to serve those among us who in all reality probably require better care than me? it's not a matter of closing the place - the residents of wards 7 and 8 need a hospital. it's a matter of providing equal access to quality health care for all citizens - regardless of their address, socio economic status, race ...

the diamond that was jodie foster lost its luster. we tried to watch "the brave one" this weekend and it just wasn't good. in the past, it would not have mattered, but i couldn't even make it to the end. i think because she may be a cheat might have something to do with it (fyi -it was while working on this movie that she met her reported new gf), but mostly it's impossible to watch a character trying to play "straight" while channeling shane mccutcheon.

i was reminded this weekend about how segregated the district is and how some are totally isolated. we took the girls next door strawberry picking this weekend (had a blast, even in the rain). on our way out of town we stopped in adams morgan to pick up our csa share. it was on this leg of the trip that the 7 year old remarked with great dismay - THERE ARE NO BLACK PEOPLE UP HERE! we affirmed her observation, but before we were able to point out that there were in fact a few black people on the sidewalk to our left she wondered - are black people allowed up here? the fact is that her reality is totally different - she lives in a neighborhood that is 99.9% african american. i began to wonder what was worse - the fact that this city continues to be segregated by race or that she has limited opportunities to leave her insulated community?

finally, the blogosphere raises an interesting conundrum - what do you do when you're out and about and recognize someone from a blog that you've been reading and it's a random blog written by someone that you've never met?