the unacknowledged 500 pound gorilla: it's the depression stupid

just so you don't have to wonder what this seemingly invisible behemoth might be, i'll start by stripping away the veil.  

U N T R E A T E D    M E N T A L    I L L N E S S

too many recent stories include untreated mental illness.  aurora, co ... sandy hook ... train jumpers ... men and women who do unfathomable things to those they know and those they don't know ... aaron swartz.

the thing is that mental illness is a naturally occurring part of our human existence - just like physical and intellectual disabilities, just like disease, just like genius, just like athleticism, and on and on and on.

but the other thing is - few acknowledge this fact and even fewer seem willing to do what is necessary to: 1) provide the funding necessary to put an adequate system in place to address untreated mental illness; and 2) provide the funding necessary to provide the education necessary to destigmatize, decriminalize, and legitimize mental illness.  i truly believe that without addressing #2 we will never get to number #1 because people will continue to hide - both the afflicted and the affected - and not seek treatment.

this is really bothering me now specifically because aaron swartz hanged himself.  as he repeatedly acknowledged, he lived with debilitating depression.  however, most articles gloss over this fact.  instead the authors focus on over-aggressive prosecutors, the pitfalls of too much too soon.  yes, he was facing a life altering charge.  yes he could have been bankrupted by the fine.  yes he could have gone to jail.  and i'm sure each of those aspects of his uncertain future played a role in his decision to hang himself.  but the bottom line is he was severely depressed.  

the depression was the deciding factor.  depression would not allow him to think rationally.  depression did not allow him to leave the past or stop worrying about the future.  

it was depression.  it was depression.  it was depression.  it was depression.

but it doesn't have to be this way.  there are plenty of people with mental illness that live perfectly "normal" and productive lives.  it's treated mental illness.  they - we - blend in and make us - you - laugh, think, smile, cry.  they - we - challenge and teach us - you.  they - we - lead and follow.  they - we - are your family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, pastors, elected officials and on and on and on.

same vote, different feeling

four years ago at this moment i was euphoric and realizing that i was witnessing history.  don't get me wrong, it's pretty exciting, and an enormous privilege, to participate in something as important as voting for those who will lead you, but today had a different feeling.  

maybe it was relief?  relief that it's finally over.  relief that i finally made my voice heard - officially.  relief to know that, regardless of political persuasion, i will still have my friends in the morning.  but ... but, there's something more ... or less.  

maybe it was ordinary?  it seemed more like an exercise today.  maybe it's because i'm trying to protect myself?  i admit that's it difficult to listen for months and months about how i might be less of a person - because i'm gay, because i'm a woman, because i work in an agency that some believe is an unnecessary waste of taxpayer money. 

but then, i felt energized by the fight.  i want to fight for who i am and what i value.  my vote was my knockout punch.

think i might be back

i can't believe that i haven't even been on this blog since july 2011. don't have anything to say right now. just wanted to let you know that i'm back.

gratuitous

"prophet" or full of shit?

spent the last 1/2 hour watching the "prophets" on word tv (kristin's just rolling her eyes!) - a few observations -

1) who made them prophets? "prophet" seems like a term that you don't throw around lightly.

2) they've said a lot of words, but haven't said a thing except they want me to give $48 to receive blessings for the next 48 hours. personally i think i'd have a better chance for 48 hours of blessings if i didn't break the chain and forwarded the rack of "forward this to 10 people or you're going to get a boil that won't heal" emails that are currently clogging up my inbox.

3) the main prophet is going on the road over the next few weeks for a series of "prophetic releases" ending with the "great prophetic release." all i haven't to say is lock your bathrooms and don't open them until you're sure he's moved on to the next town.

right up there with "walter the farting dog"

Bill Maher's New Rules - Osama Edition

couldn't have said it better myself!