gratuitous

"prophet" or full of shit?

spent the last 1/2 hour watching the "prophets" on word tv (kristin's just rolling her eyes!) - a few observations -

1) who made them prophets? "prophet" seems like a term that you don't throw around lightly.

2) they've said a lot of words, but haven't said a thing except they want me to give $48 to receive blessings for the next 48 hours. personally i think i'd have a better chance for 48 hours of blessings if i didn't break the chain and forwarded the rack of "forward this to 10 people or you're going to get a boil that won't heal" emails that are currently clogging up my inbox.

3) the main prophet is going on the road over the next few weeks for a series of "prophetic releases" ending with the "great prophetic release." all i haven't to say is lock your bathrooms and don't open them until you're sure he's moved on to the next town.

right up there with "walter the farting dog"

Bill Maher's New Rules - Osama Edition

couldn't have said it better myself!

making her famous

totally forgot that tomorrow is mother's day and didn't even send a card! but you can all help me by making my mom famous because there's no better present than that. if you wouldn't mind - forward this link to everyone you know + 10 people that you sort of know + 5 people that you really don't know, but are hoping to get to know better and ask them to leave a comment on the blog telling my mom -

how pretty she is
how famous she is
how nice her hands are
how you never seen a better picture of someone sticking out their tongue during a professional photo shoot

i will then forward her all of the comments and it will be the BEST mother's day present ever!

thanks for your help. by the way, nothing will happen if you don't forward this on in the next 10 minutes - no death, destruction, bad luck etc. but, you will help me dig myself out of the procrastinator's hole. oh, and not to make you feel guilty, but i'd totally do it for you :)

back yard baby birds

spring has sprung and the eggs are all hatching. we have 4 little somethings living under our air conditioner and they're very loud!


but even cooler is the little something that was learning to fly today and he was sitting right next to me while i picked spinach out of the garden - while mom and dad watched from the tree above.

welcome to america

today was a day of confusion and clarity -


riding the bus home today and a woman looking rather clueless boarded after me. she mumbled something to the driver and he told her to just sit down. what she, clearly a tourist with limited english proficiency, said was - "is this the bus to georgetown?" what he she should have told her is what a horrified middle-aged woman barked -"honey, you couldn't be going more in the wrong direction! you're headed over the bridge and there aint no georgetown over there. you need to go back the other direction!" she still look confused and a young boy put his hand on her shoulder and said - "welcome to america ma'am!"


yes, osama is dead; or as the newspaper seller hawking the evening edition of the examiner at eastern market was yelling -

"extra, extra! it took obama to get bin laden!"

"we got him," obama stated emphatically, but i don't think it's as easy as that. bin laden, while despicable and detestable, was not the root of all evil and it would be presumptuous and dangerous to think that we're safer now than we were yesterday. i think that the most disturbing part for me have been all of the stories about the college students celebrating in front of the white house early into the morning. many of those students were from george washington university, my alma mater. at first i was perplexed as to why someone would go to celebrate that a person, again no matter how despicable and detestable, was shot twice in the body and once in the head at close range. it seems beyond explanation. but then i became even more dumbfounded as reports emerged that some of these kids were engaging in debaucherous behavior under the guise of celebrating the death of a man, no matter how despicable and detestable, who was shot twice in the body and once in the head at close range. petula dvorak sort of felt the same way.

but then i got home and the world started to make sense again. why, you ask? because i was greeted by pictures of pippa middleton that i inadvertently left on my screen last night. come on - woman, man - it doesn't matter. that dress is inspirational!






so welcome to america and god bless the flipflopfed! after all, where else could you get a story from the bus, commentary on bin laden and a gratuitous shot of pippa middleton all in the same blogpost?

it's been a while dad

today marks one year since my dad passed away. not really sure how i feel about it or even how i feel about how i feel. i wonder if i'm supposed to be sad? crying? melancholy? mournful?

i definitely miss him, but there was such a sense of relief that he no longer had to fight to stay alive and that i could let my mind rest.

my mom went to visit him today down by the river and she told me that he really likes the wind chime that we put up a few weeks ago. "not too loud and not to girly," she reported :) i decided to spend part of my day doing something that my dad would have done - volunteering at the food bank. delivering lunches and dinners for meals on wheels was one of his great joys in life.

maybe i'll cry tomorrow, but today's been a good day just the way it was.

harry and pippa 2012

i'm starting a campaign to marry off prince harry and pippa middleton. they make a striking couple!

in the name of the father, son and holy spiggot

i didn't get up at 4:00 am, but i have now watched the royal wedding. while it was beautiful, i couldn't help but be completely distracted by my thought that i seen this whole thing once before. no, not the nuptials of charles and diana (although i did get up to watch those - the difference between a 10 year old body and a 39 year old body, i guess); rather one of my favorite movies of all time -

four weddings and a funeral

indulge me before you disagree.

beautiful main characters? check!

goofy rectors? check!

gay friends? check!

john hannah? check!

alright. maybe the pictures haven't convinced you, but watch this scene from four weddings and a funeral and then tell me that i'm wrong.

the wedding of
bernard geoffrey st. john delaney and lydia jane hibbot

there's another great scene where everyone is singing "jerusalem" by charles hubert hastings perry and the camera keys on the characters who are less than impressed with everyone's singing - just like what happened today at westminister abbey.

i rest my case and andi mcdowell and hugh grant should immediately seek royalties from today's broadcast because it was a ripoff!

god save the queen.

* i didn't want to taint my analysis with pettiness, but someone HAS to talk to the archbishop about those eyebrows! i know he's sort of a big deal in the church of england and all, but he was marrying the future king and queen. he didn't have to cut them, but a little gel wouldn't have hurt.

yeah for friends and family abroad!

a cousin living in japan and friends living in guatemala and mongolia mean that i have an international readership. they're not my first repeat multinational readers though. last year i had a frequent flier from nigeria who needed me to help him cash a check. he was such a nice young man!

the prayers of righteous PEOPLE availeth much!*

check kristin's fb page in just a few minutes and you will see that your prayers have worked! she is FINALLY profiled with a current picture!



*with all respect to james, narrowing the prayers to just one righteous man was far too limiting. this took all of us to get her to replace that head shot from 2003!

hey mom! what if ...

... i told you something that irritated you ...







... i said we're not going on any more boat rides today ...









... you won and we did take yet another tour
of annapolis harbor!

bet wonder woman wishes she had some

back in october i traveled to the great state of kansas right around the same time that the tsa launched that full body scanner. turns out though that kansas - really missouri because the airport's in that kansas city - did not have access to said full body scanner so everyone wearing clothes that were not form fitting was subjected to a front-of-the-hand pat down. i was one of those people since i was wearing a dress. i was a little irritated because i felt that the policy targeted women. to save them the trouble of putting on the rubber gloves, i quickly lifted my dress up over my head to expose absolutely nothing as i was wearing the dress because i liked it; not to hide contraband.

flash forward to today. i was returning to dc from my mom's house in upstate new york. i intentionally wore a sports bra because the substantial under wire on my traditional braziere always triggers a pat down. i made it to the magnetometer and ... it buzzed. they brought me over to the search area and the tsa agent asked if i had any metal to which i replied ...

nothing but my titanium nipples.

true story.

just like me playing with barbies kept me straight

there's in uproar in the conservative press about a j. crew ad where an employee relishes the fact that her 5 year old boy likes to have his toes painted ... pink. the outrage is that this ad will encourage kids to be gay, or dare i say, trans!

so many flaws to this theory that i don't even know where to begin; so i won't.

when you need to make a choice

apologies in advance to those who end up saying - huh? - but it's one of those "you either get it or you don't" and explaining it won't make it easier to understand or any funnier once you understand ...

the scene: non-profit organization board meeting

the context: having a discussion to determine whether or not we should revise our board membership requirements; one suggestion was to extend the definition of "mennonite" to include other mennonite churches other than hyattsville or even to other anabaptist traditions

my response: "i'd rather have a like-minded atheist than an evangelical anabaptist"

classic line if i must say so myself - so i do!

not a win for women's reproductive rights in the district of columbia

obviously i've watched the last few days of news with keen interest; after all, it's been my livelihood at stake. and like many americans, i was irritated to think that the right to show up, do my job and earn a living was pinned to an attempt to legislate through the budget process. but in the end, common sense won out when obama and the democrats, my people, stood firm in their commitment not to agree to any deal that defunded planned parenthood. the rider disappeared and the democrats and obama agreed to the proposed budget cuts and proclaimed a hard-won social victory on behalf of womens' reproductive freedom. but was it really?

no. while defunding planned parenthood did not happen, the newly approved federal budget deal contains a provision that the district of columbia may not use LOCAL funds to support a low-income woman's right to choose. that's right, congress - both democrats and republicans - , with obama's approval, has told the tax paying citizens of the district of columbia what they can and cannot do with their local tax dollars. where's the national outrage over that?! i'll make it easy - there is none.

can you imagine the federal government telling arizona that it can no longer spend its local dollars to enforce its undocumented worker policies? of course not, because it would never happen. first, the arizona congressional delegation would band together to prevent it and other states would begin the cries of states rights. but, that's what happens when you're not a state, when you don't have a vote and when the only representation you have is a city government that no one takes seriously because it's such an embarrassment.

taxation without representation is alive and well!

we're real tax-paying citizens - not some faceless enemy

the possibility of a federal government shutdown is becoming more and more real as the hours pass. while i've definitely been one to make jokes about being a fed, i do so in jest. i know how hard we work every day - to serve, protect. the work we do is noble and worthwhile - my job exists for the sole purpose of ensuring that infants, toddlers and students with disabilities get the access to the same education as their typically developing peers. doesn't really seem like a waste of money to me.

and yet we have to listen to people talk and write about how we're lazy, unproductive and unnecessary. they talk as if we're this random group of people who are somehow unaffected by the faltering economy. in reality, we're tax payers just like the rest of them and are impacted as well.

i could go on and on and on, but steve ressler said it better over at the huffington post.

attention! boehner's seeking day laborers!!!

the government shutdown is getting close and the administration is raising the stakes. around 8:00pm all cabinet agencies received notice that the administration is planning for a shutdown.

the message makes clear that POTUS doesn't want a shut down and everyone in the administration appreciates our dedication. now i know who to blame when i am barred from going to work and stop receiving a paycheck - going straight to boehner's office and will be seeking work as a day laborer. spread the word and come and join me!

you know your mom loves you when, ...

... , after asking her to walk just a few more feet because it's good for her, she pointedly states -

fuck you! i hate you!

ah the joys of having a saucy mom!

i thought it was pretty stupid too

someone hacked the "how to of the day" earlier today on igoogle. results below -

NOW i see why they're the enemy

having been one once, i've had a difficult time understanding the vitriolic lambasting recently leveled at teachers from every corner of the political ring. it wasn't until i saw this spot on the daily show that i truly understood! they really ARE the root of all evil!

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

keeping it humble

this is why i love my people!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

(although, i find it very interesting that they only focused the camera on our plain clothes, low german-speaking (no, not dutch, as the reporter stated) brethren and not all those that look just like you and me. makes a better story, i guess. and thanks to sara fretz-goering for posting this - with utmost humility of course - on her fb page.)

homicides in the district to date

i know this isn't the most uplifting of posts, but it is interesting. homicide watch is a fantastic blog that's sprung up in the past year. laura norton amico started the blog to "mark every death. remember every victim. follow every case." in the district. she's created a fascinating chronicle of the stories that are too soon forgotten. (i actually wish she would have started this a few years ago when nannaboo was murdered because that case has been lost to history for a long time.)

today she posted a spread sheet containing all of the information on this year's murders to date. that got me wondering if there was any pattern to the madness; which led me to develop this map ... zoom in on any of the place markers to view the exact area of a particular homicide. many of the sites are in or near public housing projects. nearly all of those neighborhoods have a similar plan - non-descript, low rise buildings on cul-de-sacs, or dead end streets with no neighborhood services in sight.


View Homicides in the District to Date in a larger map

it's not seer-a-cuse!

it's SARE-A-CUSE

*maybe it's not the way it's pronounced by merriam-webster, but that's how the people who live there say it so that's got to be worth something. and remember, we're also the people that say "gahd" instead of "god."

oh yeah, it impacted the black people too

recently returned from a week long trip to training in new orleans. the city, in the wake of katrina, was specifically selected as a case study for leading change. we heard from politicians, school district leaders, economic development firms and federal agencies. and who were these talking heads - white man, white man, white man, white man and white man.

now, my knowledge of new orleans and katrina is limited to what i've seen on the news, but i seem to remember that there were at least a few african americans affected by the storm as well.

to be fair, we did hear from one african american woman - a new orleans native - who returned after the storm and is leaving her mark as a principal in the recovery school district. she was, by far, the most compelling speaker. of course i learned a lot throughout the week, but felt that it was a missed opportunity to hear from those disproportionately affected by the storm.

mennonite confession of faith article 25

you can read the first 24 articles here, but you will not find article 25. why? because it has never been written down before this very moment. article 25 goes something like this -

we believe that, although we are a small gathering of believers, we will organize ourselves in such a way, with mennos and non-mennos alike, that we might have maximum impact, even under the most stressful and dire of circumstances, within the shortest periods of time.

this is what it looks like in practice -

on friday at 2:00 pm, menno a's boss stops by and says "within the next hour, we must find a student in the district of columbia who meets each of the following 20 criteria, without exception, to attend an event with the President of the United States on monday morning at 7:00 am ."

menno a, not even breaking a sweat, says "not a problem."

menno a then calls menno b who says "oh, mennos c, d, e, f or g will absolutely know someone."

so menno a calls menno c and finds out that menno c is unavailable. does panic set in? no because menno a still has mennos d, e, f and g to call.

menno a then calls menno d who confidently say that, while she doesn't know said super child, she's absolutely positive that menno x, a menno not even in the original equation, will absolutely have a candidate.

at 2:30 pm, menno a calls menno x who says "give me 20 minutes and i'll have someone."

sure enough, menno x calls menno a and informs her that non-menno 1 and non-menno 2 have said super child.

menno a calls non-mennos 1 and 2 and, at 2:48 pm, ends up with not 1, but TWO super children to attend the event with POTUS!

a flow char will follow soon.

when it rains it pours - inside your house

the renovation coupled with the overnight apocalyptic rains have revealed that we have a leak! grrrrrr :(

the 1000's of dollars $150 project

remember the trip to lucketts and buckeystown? not to worry, i was there and almost don't remember it because it was so long ago. we had this grand idea to build a bed frame out of old farmhouse doors. that was february 2009.

i'm happy to report that the bed frame is almost finished and it is AMAZING thanks to the wonderful carpentry skills of our friend rex and impeccable color knowledge of our friend lawrence. and it's precisely because that the bed has turned out to be so AMAZING that we're currently living like this ...

you see, we decided that the bed must be the focal point of the bedroom since the bed is really turning out to be art. that meant that we needed to get rid of all of the other furniture in the room (although we will add a little couch or two chairs). and that meant that we needed to redo the closet, which meant that we needed to do a pretty significant renovation to remove walls, replace plaster walls with wall board and add lighting.

check back in about a month to see it in all its glory!

and with only one indigo girls reference

last night's episode of glee was absolutely fabulous. it was characteristically funny and irreverent and incredibly touching. the episode that began with one of the funniest takes ever on being confused about who you love, ended with a realization that it's less destructive, personally and to those around you, to be honest with yourself about who you love. dorothysnarker has an excellent reflection on her blog "dorothy surrenders." read it here. or watch for yourself -

Untitled from Ria Molina on Vimeo.

BEST discussion EVER about being confused

on tonight's glee -


brittany: i don't know how i feel about us

santana: let's be clear here. i'm not interested in any lables - unless it's on something i shoplift.

brittany: i don't know santana. i think we should talk to somebody, like an adult. this relationship is really confusing for me.

santana: breakfast is confusing for you.

brittany: sometime's it's sweet and sometime's it's salty. what if i had eggs for dinner? then, what is it?

i don't do macaroni and cheese - the criminal justice edition

last week, we were called - subpoenaed actually - to our civic duty as witnesses in a simple assault case. turned out that the guy ended up pleading guilty before the non-jury trial began, but that fact did not disqualify us from getting our witness fee. (yep, they pay you at least $40 to be a witness in dc superior court! nice huh, although i'm not sure it's worth collecting if there's a chance you might be intimated or killed.)

this day's fun really began when we were set to go home. you must go to the criminal finance division to collect your witness fee. within the criminal finance division they have 3 cashier windows, 2 "fines/court fee" windows and 1 witness reimbursement window. no one approached the cashier windows and only one person needed to pay a fine; however, about 30 people needed to be reimbursed. i approached both a cashier and a fine/court fee collector to see if they could help out with the reimbursements since both of them were just hanging out on their blackberries. i was quickly informed that they don't do reimbursements - clearly kin to she that does not do macaroni and cheese!

hail to the buff and blue?

some current seniors at my alma mater have started a campaign to get charlie sheen as their commencement speaker. how could you not be proud?!?@#@? actually, part of their justification is kind of funny -

He is an unemployed winner. And unless the job market miraculously picks up, we too will be unemployed winners.

battle royale - red velvet cupcake

the newest monument to excess in the district of columbia (no, not kwame's suvs)?

the boutique cupcake.

there are no fewer than 3 cupcake-only purveyors in the district alone, not to mention all of the bakeries that have jumped on the bandwagon. we even have a food truck that sells nothing but cupcakes. and while each has its fan, the reigning grandmommy of them all is georgetown cupcake, she of reality television fame. many have tried but none have been able to match the morsels for which people have been known to: 1) wait in obnoxiously long lines (me included); and 2) pay handsomely (me included). until this week ...

earlier this week, sprinkles cupcakes of los angeles, the self-proclaimed "original cupcake bakery," LA Times-dubbed "progenitor** of the haute cupcake craze," and subject of its own reality television show set up shop just a few blocks away!

so tonight we headed to georgetown to conduct a comprehensive test. here are the results -

branding -


pink box wins! it SCREAMS "georgetown cupcake;" while the brown box, even with its sticker, could be mistaken for your lunch from kfc.

cupcake presentation -


they know how to make it look better in los angeles! the cake is bigger, the frosting has height, and the center confection is flirty. you can just see it riding shotgun in a convertible bentley down rodeo drive.

based on outward appearances we're all tied up. but now for the taste.



cream cheese frosting -

georgetown = smoother and creamier

sprinkles = cream cheesier and grainier

red velvet cake -

sprinkles = lighter and airier with more of a hint of chocolate

georgetown = denser

center confection -

georgetown = understated and complementary sugary bite

sprinkles = colorfully inviting, but make sure that your dental insurance premium is up-to-date before biting into this tasteless, rock-hard disc

and the winner is ...

georgetown cupcake!

in the end, it's the frosting that makes the difference and georgetown's is far superior to sprinkles. and hey, this is dc. we don't do big, flashy and overly sweet. we do unadorned effortlessness with a hint of ennui.

in my humble opinion georgetown cupcake will reign supreme until magnolia bakery decides to jump into the mix. until that time, the battle is won.

**don't worry, i had to look it up too! it means - a thing from which another thing originates.

"zion" or a sign of the third reich?

either way, or as simple as "2012" as they say, it's a horrendous logo

when the city government is the slumlord

we purchased our home in 2005 and since 2005 we've been witness to the slow deterioration of the two properties across the way. the district government is committed to ridding its neighborhoods of blight - fining and even taking ownership of homes where the current owner either cannot or refuses to maintain the property. no such enforcement with these homes, but then that would require the district government to police itself. yep, the eye sores are owned by the district of columbia housing authority.

we've tried everything! at one point we even convinced them to sell the properties. now it seems though that the houses are a part of the district of columbia housing authority's new "greening initiative" funded by the recovery act. they even put up big signs so you know it must be true!

of course, there's been no movement on this initiative which led kristin and me to surmise that the "greening initiative" is nothing more than waiting until the buildings decay beyond repair and are unceremoniously returned to the earth.

well said, david carr, well said

david carr has a great piece in the times about the time bomb that is charlie sheen. i'll let you read and digest the article for yourself, but here's a quote to pique your interest -

so the message from cbs and warner brothers seems clear: abuse yourself and the women around you to your heart’s content, but do not attack the golden goose.

god don't like ugly

georgetown played syracuse today and georgetown decided not to extend the right hand of fellowship to syracuse fans. you see they thought that they could influence the game's outcome by not allowing syracuse fans to attend the game, which makes the final score even that much sweeter!

hoya suxa!!

GO ORANGE!

what a week!

let's start off with a little will.i.am -

i went to sleep last night, tired from the fight ... i woke up this morning feeling brand new cause the dreams that i've been dreaming have finally come true!

that's how i felt earlier this week when the justice department announced that it would no longer defend the defense of marriage act. DOMA has many concerning elements, but for me the most destructive has been the inability to have my partner of 9 years - the one with whom i own a house, a car, retirement savings - on my federal employee health insurance. this has been a huge issue as she is currently self-employed. while i know that the policy change won't happen immediately, it's comforting to know that the end is near.

and now for the fun! dc politics is the stuff of legend. we've had a crack addict mayor who kept getting elected and elected. now we have a council chair - the man responsible for the district's budget - who makes incredibly poor personal financial decisions and is deeply in debt. it should come as no surprise then that he would order a fully loaded luxury suv at a time when the district faces a massive budget deficit.

if that wasn't bad enough, our new mayor - the one for whom i voted and had such high hopes - decided to give a $110,000 patronage appointment to a man with little to no relevant experience and who may or may not be a pedophile. oops!

i think howcanihelp sums it up best with her/his comment on this report -

"dc is quickly turning into the place where clown college dropouts go to die"

beginning again

so i think that i have more to say and will now begin again