riding the bus

i love riding the metro bus. it's cheaper than the train ($1.25 per trip with a smartrip), it's convenient (one bus takes me from my house - two doors down - to the side of my office building), you don't have to deal with tourists, and some of my fellow riders are a trip.

case in point, darlene and her mother. darlene (maybe in her 50s) and her mother (pushing 80) are always dressed for church (complete with ornate specimens of millinery atop their domes), always in crisis and always sitting at least 5 rows apart while discussing their latest calamity. i first met darlene and her mother when they were attempting to determine whose feet were more rank (darlene took the prize. in fact, the mother makes darlene wash her feet before entering the house.)

in today's episode: darlene and her mother can't find their keys. the keys were supposedly in the purse. darlene had the purse, but her mother was directing the search from 5 rows behind. darlene announces that she "hears" the keys, but can't see them so she begins to remove the items that are blocking her view. they include: a wallet, kleenex, lipstick, a jumbo pack of double-stuffed oreos, and the culprit - an enormous pair of hot pink underware.